y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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