I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
