OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Randomize
