Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time