Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.