That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.