Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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