the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You made out with two different species that night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
