No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
