So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
