Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
