Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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