I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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