God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
