It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
