Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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