Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
