Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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