What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
