That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
