By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This is my gift to your gina
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
