Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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