You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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