i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
