If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize