As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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