i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize