Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
