evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
