Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
