your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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