just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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