Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
After tacos, we're chasing women.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
