If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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