So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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