I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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