he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize