i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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