small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
