I wish I could teleport
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
