so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize