she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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