**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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