no, he came in my armpit
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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