youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm too high and old for this...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
