I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
