Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
