Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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