i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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