kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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