Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
