smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
