We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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