So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
