Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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