Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
