Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
