Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
