I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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