There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
