i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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