I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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