I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
