...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
