I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
