I am in a vortex of obligation.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she peed on how many people?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
