broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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